Go Ahead, Tell Me I’m Wrong

Every Friday at Adverb Communications, we get together and do a round of team shout-outs. We talk about what everybody worked on over the week and essentially, just say nice things about each other.

It's a great part of our culture, and it really allows us to see and celebrate the work of our team. A couple of weeks ago, one of my team members brought up how much she enjoyed collaborating with me on a writing project.

One of the things that she said was, “Erika, I love how easy it is to disagree with you.”

I burst out laughing. It was a bizarre compliment, and I wasn’t entirely sure where she was going with it.  She went on to explain that she loves being able to talk through different ideas and push back on certain decisions in a critical way. She said it felt great to be able to have a real back-and-forth conversation, rather than being told to just do something a certain way.

The compliment meant a lot, and the idea of being “easy to disagree with” stuck with me.

As I shift into my new role at Adverb, I'm in a lot of new situations. I have direct reports for the first time, I’m in charge of making critical decisions…let’s just say that my growth trajectory currently looks like a vertical wall. It’s a lot. I’m also figuring out what my leadership style is, and what kind of a leader I want to be to my team.

I haven't figured it all out yet (and I think that any leader who says they do have it completely figured out is probably wrong). But what I do know is that I want to continue to be the type of leader that is easy to disagree with.

We've all been in those situations where our boss has told us to do something a certain way, and when we come up with a different—or better—idea, we’re told to just do it their way instead.

This kind of scenario can lead to a few different outcomes—and none of them are good. First, you might stop putting forth your ideas, meaning your whole team misses out on potentially improving the work. Second, you don't feel heard, which does absolutely nothing for your morale. And third, you may even start to resent your boss because they don't value your input.

Of course, there are boundaries that need to be in place for constructive conversations and disagreements, and ultimately as a leader you need to have the confidence to make the final decision. But we need to not only create space for these critical conversations, but celebrate and encourage them.

We’ve done a great job of creating that space at Adverb, and I’ve seen it in practice particularly over the last few months. We've implemented a lot of new processes as our team has grown and many of our roles have evolved—and we've all been living our values during this time of change. We're communicating openly, honestly and kindly.

I’ve been learning to reframe disagreements and critical feedback. It's hard work. When you feel a lot of pride in or ownership of a project, and somebody suggests an alternative way of doing things, or points out something you’ve overlooked, it can be really easy to go on the defensive.

But when I take a step back, I can remember that we’ve created a culture that transforms disagreements into opportunities. And that these opportunities are what drive us forward as a team and help us do our best work.

So go ahead, tell me I’m wrong.